Top 10 Funny Things About Christian Publishing

Kim Petit asked me (former executive director, Doug Trouten) to come up with the “Top 10 Funny Things About Christian Publishing” for CookPartners, “The online magazine of global Christian publishing.” It was a bit of a challenge to try to come up with jokes that would work cross-culturally and in different languages, but here’s what I came up with.

10. Authors say God revealed to them in a dream that their manuscripts are perfect just the way they are.

9. Editors worry that Rev. 22:18-19 condemns their profession. (” I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.”)

8. For some reason, long books skip right from page 665 to 667.

7. As an art form, our industry peaked in the Middle Ages with illuminated manuscripts.

6. The Bible tells us that “In the beginning was the Word,” but we’re still staring at a blank piece of paper.

5. How aggressive are our sales? If your culture doesn’t have a written language, we’ll create one for you.

4. Some days Ecclesiastes 12:12 sounds like job security, some days it sounds like a curse. (“Be warned, my son, of anything in addition to them. Of making many books there is no end, and much study wearies the body.”)

3. No matter how good your book is, you’ll never outsell the Bible.

2. We keep publishing, even though the “Good News” hasn’t changed for 2,000 years.

And the number one funny thing about Christian publishing:
1. Gutenberg never made any money from his famous Bible – a proud Christian publishing tradition that continues to this day.